


I have tears when you laugh

by Sammael_Sin



Series: Dark Friendship of three guys [4]
Category: Star Trek
Genre: Dark Past, Disability, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hate to Love, Hurt Jim, Hurt Spock (Star Trek), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Non-Graphic Violence, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Past Violence, Rape Aftermath, Spock was the victim, Xenophobia, can be read as Spones if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28571613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammael_Sin/pseuds/Sammael_Sin
Summary: Spock laughs, and his laughter adds to the fun when I try to screw from him: "Who did these things to you?"The incident happened several months ago "Golden Apple", which I roughly estimate compared to TOS, it would be roughly "Court Martial". Instead, Kirk went to a military court like in TOS, He attended meetings to prepare for war with the Klingons. And this event was mentioned in "Love treasure".Warning: - Please do not expect the beauty and fidelity of the language. Because English is not my first language.
Relationships: Mirror James T. Kirk/Mirror Spock
Series: Dark Friendship of three guys [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2082420
Kudos: 1





	I have tears when you laugh

**Star Trek Dark Side--One shot.-**   
**I have tears when you laugh**

_\---This fiction is a small part of a comic book project I am planning to do. And I wrote them as guides for my own work, as well as for those of you who are interested in my comic. So, really sorry, if it's weird and unbearable. Over the years I've been drafting content for the Star Trek Dark side. I wanted my work to rip off the old rules about spock, and bang! The voice in my head asked excitedly. "What would happen, if for Spock, T'hy'la meant nothing more than a cage that held his soul?" It shouldn't be too bad, because I'm writing about the Mirror Universe.---_

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We are T'hy'la...

But our start was terrible. When he reported my guilt regarding the 'Kobayashi Maru' cheating, I rendered him helpless in the Fleet, for his bravery against humans, even knowing Vulcan was just a pet. empire.

Judah-- His adopted sister, I made her fall in love and left her heart broken. To make me pay for what I do, He raped me both my body, and mind by Vulcan techniques. After seeing my past through my memories. He get that we are T'hy'la, and felt guilty and tried to do things to make me forgive. And..

I gave him more than he expected.

Seven days I tortured him, injuring his penis so that he could no longer erect, I raped him and branded him as a prostitute. The right arm is paralyzed. His left ear hole was bleeding. And he was almost blind on both sides.

Three years after that, I returned to find what I had left behind ... Vulcan as a 'slave' and 'public sex toy' on the ISS Enterprise. His injuries I remember in the past have been restored, but not all. His right arm was working fine but almost senseless, and Vulcan's sensitive right hand was no longer able to connect telepathy. If he is to fuse with someone, he must use his left hand only. The left ear lost his hearing and his eyes saw worse for Vulcan, above all, they reflected only a corpse-like emptiness.

A former Vulcan teacher who was completely broken..

I'm trying to convince myself that I haven't done anything wrong, he deserves it. He should thank me, because if the Empire knew about what he had done he had to pay with his life.

And... now that he has paid enough, it is time for forgiveness and release.

After I made sure that there was no way to protect Vulcan outside of doing it as captain. I killed Christopher Pike for me to become the captain! Years later, I appointed him my first officer, struggling to get him to be the commander - under me - amid the frustrations of a high-ranking human officer. I know he deserves more because it suits his wits and abilities, but Vulcan could not have a high position in the Empire without a commander to protect them.

And I must not let anyone know what I am doing. He must not be the target of abuse and assassination.

So, when in front of other people. I spoke to him in a harsh voice. I never showed any kindness to him, never let anyone notice how special he was in my eyes. It hurts that he really believes I can see him as a big competitor that one day will have to get rid of, if he showed me even a little bit of ambition.

When alone, I treat him with mildness and respect. He would always stand at my right hand, and I would immediately turn to the other side so that I could speak softly near the ear that he could hear. And I put my arm around his shoulder to touch the other sensitive shoulder - a little excuse to hug.

I tried.. Little by little... Little by little... to heal that Vulcan. I tried - put together the broken pieces. But it's like a big jigsaw puzzle that some of them are gone forever.

He denied all of my help. He told me, 'He has no right to hate or anger me, he deserves these things, it is the empire's way', and he thanked me for forgiveness and help. He trusted only Bones, the one who had helped him through the three bad years.

He was loyal to his safety - to his people in Lab no.6, it never came from the heart. I know he does. Sometimes, I am almost sure behind the emotionless face, how he portrays my horrible death.

But I love him! Jesus Christ!! I don't know when it happened! But I love him and I don't want to see him get hurt or sad anymore! Yet, as a Vulcan commander, he was still tortured, despised, discriminated against, etc.

And he acted as if nothing happened. He was never affected by it.

Today is the same...

After the meeting at Star Bass, I visited the first officer's room to look after him - after he was denied - from entering the meeting room, some of the captain and top officials were too Xenophobic to accept as officers. The first, an alien, called him cynically. "Kirk's pet", and fired him from the meeting room.

I told him, ' _ **Ask me for help when you need it**_ ', and he is as quiet as every time he walks through the door.

And now. I see him sitting quietly on the bed. He looks weirdly small.

"Spock..."

"You said let me cry for your help, when I need it."

"Yes"

"I think humans are lucky, they have Superman to help and listen to their voices."

"Spock.. I ---"

"I hope my mother's legacy will bring me some luck like that.. But no. I called you.. But you didn't come..."

I'm like standing on the edge of hell. As he saw Spock's trembling shoulders. Spock is crying? But Spock never cried - I've never seen him cry - even when I tortured and raped him years ago. Although, Bones will say that he cried over and over again for three years in the hell I made for him, but when he was in my presence he had nothing on his face, nothing.

But now, Spock is crying! **This thing cannot be tolerated!**

I went to the door, for what happened today I must report it to the top! I will have to change it.. Anything hurt my precious Vulcan. And I panicked when I heard the sound of laughter. Vulcan's expressionless mask slipped off. Spock was laughing. At that moment I was crazy, the way he played with my feelings! He dared to joke like that! He never really cares how much I care about him!? And before I realized it, I hit him in the face - strong enough to bruise him. He looked at me, green blood came out of the nostrils and corners of the mouth.

And he smiled. Float a cute and playful smile. But I felt a chill in my bones when I saw him clearly.

Floating the bruises on his neck...

Clothes that look dirty...

I tore the uniform of the first officer of the ship, as he smiled in satisfaction as he looked at me. The terrible bruises spread on his pale skin. The sad bruise wrapped around my wrists full of abrasions that I had done for him. The smell of sex and bites, traces of saliva, blood, and human semen !? Someone put his hand on my Vulcan as he left the conference room to return to the Enterprise.

Often times, the honorable guests of the ship treat him as my slave or pet, and sometimes I need to let it happen! But I have never allowed anyone to rape my first officer!

I was so angry I trembled - cursing this cruel universe.

But I get it too, that three years of bitterness he has been stigmatized all his life as the Whore of Vulcan! I can't do anything to change it - all I can do is protect him for the rest of my life!

Spock started laughing again, and his laughter was more fun when I tried to screw him up. " **Who did these things to you?** "

The Vulcan I loved was broken a long time ago. And the one who destroyed him was me.

What is he laughing for? Is he satisfied with my suffering? I can't believe that he had let himself be raped so cruelly to make me miserable - it was an exorbitant price for a little revenge. I can't tell. And he might not be able to either. It's safe to say that Spock doesn't have a normal mind. The things I did to him in the past were enough to make him go crazy.

Or perhaps, he was just amusing himself for letting his innocent beliefs take hold, believing that I was going to save him as soon as he called me. But no matter what the truth is, it doesn't remove the fact that, the one who caused all the misfortunes that Spock has experienced is me.

Spock still laughed as he walked toward the bathroom door. At that moment, I pulled him back and held him tight. His laughter began to sound like a whine. I hope one day he will forgive me. 

But, my Vulcan was broken a long time ago. There is nothing I can do for him.

I love him, who was tortured until it was broken many years ago - broken by my hand.

I love him, we are T'hy'la ... Some Vulcan told me 'T'hy'la is a powerful bond and one that connects us', but .. I know it is the most idle-nonsense legend. "Who can love people who hurt them so much? Especially after they had to become disabled throughout their lives, as Spock had ”, except for those individuals who were psychopaths or Stockholme Syndrome.

But I love him more than anything in the world..

As I kissed the sad bite on his shoulder, my tears flowed.


End file.
